Image by zenonline via Flickr

To learn English language is fun. Not just because you try to find a way to make the language learning funny and enjoyable as possible, but because the English language itself has its own funny features.

We all make jokes, don’t we? And as we do not always know, jokes can be a fine way to learn English language, that’s why the English jokes are provided below inclusive with its explanation and vocabularies to help you understand the story.

So let’s take a self-evaluation if we really are comprehensive enough to understand the following jokes below. Let’s take these all one by one. Are you ready?

What a Panda Does in a Cafe

A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.

“Why?” asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit.

The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder. “I’m a panda,” he says, at the door.

“Look it up.” The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation…

“Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.”

Learning Part

You will understand the joke if you know that the author play with word “shoot and leave.”

The meaning of shoot in the manual means “a part of bamboo” and leaves mean “a green part of tree” but panda misunderstood the meaning.

Q & A for a Laugh

Q: What is the similarity between men and rats?

A: Both keep searching for new holes.

Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman’s period?

A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5- days and if it doesn’t come, it means you are in big trouble.

Q: What’s the difference between biology and sociology?

A: When the baby looks like his dad or mom, then it is biology. When the baby looks like the neighbor, then it is sociology.

Q: Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted. Are you having 3 meals a day as I have advised?

A: Lady: Doctor, I thought you said 3 males a day.

Q: Girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. In the dark, a mosquito enters the girl’s skirt. Guess where it would have bitten?!!!!!!!!!!!!

A: The boy friend’s hand.

Q: Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath. Tarzan removed his clothes. All the animals laughed. Tarzan asked “Why”?

A: The animals told him. Your tail is in front”.

Q: Secret of long life

A: Morning two eggs, evening two pegs… and night two legs

I’m sure you were laughing when you read these two jokes. Funny, isn’t it? This is because you actually understand what it’s meant. Surely you will never laugh at a certain joke if you obviously didn’t understand any of it, right?

That’s why it is important to learn English language. A person’s comprehension is tested not just by reading novels or long boring story books. Cracking a joke can also be an aid in testing how comprehensive a person can be with the English language.

It all manifests when he laughs as he reads it! Enjoy your joking time!

Learning a second language during these times is not considered an option any longer. Since we are now revolving in a highly-modernized civilization already, fulfilling dreams and reaching out your prospective careers now involves transactions and communications to foreign countries worldwide.

And of course, how are you going to fulfill these goals if the simplest form of communication would not take place beforehand? This is where the importance of foreign language learning takes place. Even if it is “only a language”, your knowledge about it will surely become your engine in bringing you to the ambition that you have always wanted.

Foreign language courses are just the right engines to start your journey for your dreams. These are available online and are even more available on language schools worldwide. Online language courses are indeed very modernized and convenient, but language school learning provides a more holistic and personal approach. Besides, their curriculums are specially designed depending on the need, availability, and choice of the learners.

As you learners go along with their language learning on the language schools, there are actually available supplementary learning methods that they can apply during the process. Here are the following lists:

Self teaching

The self-teaching method may also be considered as the typical study period of the general students in nature. Yet it context of language learning, this self-teaching method involves the use of audio cassettes, CD’s, videotapes, or even vocabularies. Most language schools recommend these supplementary materials to their learners so that they can still continue to learn even after classes.

The mentioned materials above are all available in local bookstores and libraries. Language schools who have their libraries of their own also have such materials, so learners can also have a short stop-by in it and have a brief or intense study learning all by themselves.

Visiting Foreign Language Websites

Internet is part of the people’s lifestyle already, so as learners, you can also include this medium as a learning method. There are various sites available in the web that offers lessons on foreign languages, especially when it is free. You can either have a short language lesson on your chosen website while you are on Facebook or you can search on language games available in the net as well.

Resources in the Internet are limitless! So you can take advantage of its capability and integrate it during your language learning process.

Watching foreign movies and TV series

I remember how a friend of mine loves Korean movies, artists, music, and TV series. She is so avid with the whole Korean concept, and that extent leads her to learn the Korean language as well. Since she adores Korean music, she now begins to sing Korean songs and learn Korean phrases as well. With her passion with the TV series, she becomes gradually familiar with the language’s terms and pronunciation, including the meaning of the words since the series have their subtitles.

This principle is highly recommended when learners include movies and series along with their language learning. This method is not really an obligation. Learners will choose to listen to foreign music or watch foreign movies because they love it. With this passion, the learner eventually embraces to know much of its language, so it’s highly effective.

So, you think integrating these methods help you excel in your language learning? Apply these supplementary learning methods and you’ll be amazed that you have an edge compared to other language learners in your vicinity.

If you could ask someone or yourself into what particular foreign language would you like to learn aside from English, you would probably prefer Spanish, French, or Italian. And if ever Portuguese was someone’s option, he or she is certainly ardent with this wonderful language.

Portuguese is not that famous compared to other renowned languages like English, French, or Spanish. Which is why foreign people who love to learn Portuguese found something in the language that makes them love to learn it?

What really are these features Portuguese language possesses?

Do you know that Portuguese penetrates not less than 33 countries like Iberia, Azores, Madeira, Andorra, Angola, Antigua and Barbuda, Belgium, Brazil, Canada, Cape Verde Islands, China, Congo, France, Germany, Guinea-Bissau, Guyana, India, Indonesia, Jamaica, Luxembourg, Malawi, and Mozambique! This is one famous language, isn’t it? And not only that, Portuguese is spoken by 10 million in Portugal alone with a total number of 176,000,000 native speakers around the world, including those 191,000,000 second language speakers in the countries previously mentioned.

As part of the top ten most spoken languages, Portuguese is ranked eighth globally and third among the European languages. Also, this language is one of the modernized and evolved Romance Languages, along with Spanish, French, Italian and Romanian. Since the language contributes great facts in the world and European History, Portuguese was acknowledged by history devotees. The language was in fact originated in Galicia and the Northern Portugal from Latin spoken by the Roman citizens in the Iberian Peninsula for about 200 years past.

No wonder lots of people are learning this language. Of course, Portuguese is spoken in progressive countries where in employment opportunities are given to those who want to work and travel abroad. Traveling to Portuguese-speaking countries will not only provide them greener pastures but the chance to welcome its culture, tradition, and language.

So, why don’t your start learning Portuguese abroad? Have a look to this video as a Portugal presentation.

Image via Wikipedia

Are you the person who likes language jokes? Well, aside from making these language jokes simply humorous and funny, language jokes can also be a good motivator to learn English abroad. It stirs an initial interest to learn the language and in fair view, it really has some effects.

With this regard, we have collected three funny English jokes that will certainly burst you to laughter. Ready your lungs, ladies and gentlemen because you will certainly laugh at the funny English jokes specially provided for you.

• The Problem with Speaking English

1.      Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

2.      Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

3.      Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

4.      Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

5.      Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

6.      So eat and drink all you want because there is only one thing that can kill you, and that is to know English.

I actually saw one video clip on Youtube that has similar concept with the joke above. Just try checking it as well.

Let’s have another joke with this letter written by a daughter to her mother. It was personally very funny. I’m sure some students can relate to this!

• Dear Mom:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I’ve been finding real passion with Ahmed and he is so nice-even with all his piercing, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it’s not only the passion Mom, I’m pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy.

He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that’s now one of my dreams too. Ahmed taught me that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone and we’ll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Ahmed can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don’t worry Mom, I’m 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I’m sure we’ll be back to visit so you can get to know your grand children.

Your daughter,

Judith

PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I’m over at the neighbor’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that’s in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

Do you want your English pronunciation to get tested? Well, read this poem below out loud and let’s test how good your English speaking skills are!

• English is Tough Stuff

A poem on the difficulty of pronouncing English

Dearest creature in creation,

Study English pronunciation,

I will teach you in my verse,

Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse,

I will keep you, Suzy, busy,

Make your head with heat grow dizzy,

Tear in eye, your dress will tear,

So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.

Just compare heart, beard, and heard,

Dies and diet, lord and word,,

Sword and sward, retain and Britain.,

(Mind the latter, how it’s written.),

Now I surely will not plague you,

With such words as plaque and ague. ,

But be careful how you speak: ,

Say break and steak, but bleak and streak; ,

Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,

Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,

Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,

Exiles, similes, and reviles;

Scholar, vicar, and cigar,

Solar, mica, war and far;

One, anemone, Balmoral,

Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;

Gertrude, German, wind and mind,

Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,

Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.

Blood and flood are not like food,

Nor is mould like should and would.

Viscous, viscount, load and broad,

Toward, to forward, to reward.

And your pronunciation’s OK

When you correctly say croquet,

Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,

Friend and fiend, alive and live.

The people who made these jokes are certainly gifted with how they play with the English words and create a poem, a letter, or a statement out of their versatility. I’m sure there are lots of inspired “jokers” out there who want to make their jokes of their own. Are you one of them?

Then learn English today and make it your language to start a joke! This may be a very basic motive to learn language, but hey, big dreams start from small beginnings. Make your decision today!

Image via Wikipedia

Isn’t it funny how English plays its words with such versatility and uniqueness? I don’t know if all languages have the ability to use one word with two different meanings, but I personally appreciate how English has such characteristic. Just like this poem written below where the English terms in anatomy are playing with words. Through this poem, we can really say that English is indeed a funny language

Let’s take a quick reading of this poem entitled Mysteries of Anatomy.

Where can a man buy a cap for his knee,
Or the key to a lock of his hair?
Can his eyes be called an academy
Because there are pupils there?

Is the crown of your head where jewels are found?
Who travels the bridge of your nose?
If you wanted to shingle the roof of your mouth,
Would you use the nails on your toes?

Can you sit in the shade of the palm of your hand,
Or beat on the drum of your ear?
Can the calf in your leg eat the corn off your toe?
Then why not grow corn on the ear?

Can the crook in your elbow be sent to jail?
If so, just what did he do?
How can you sharpen your shoulder blades?
I’ll be darned if I know – do you?

Funny, isn’t it? Do you see how flexible the English language is? Imagine yourself skillful in playing the language’s words; you can create a funny poem, or even funnier than the ones you read above. Are you willing to learn English?

Let me give you a challenge: Let’s test how skillful your English ability is by making a phrase or a sentence that plays English words creatively. The poem above is a classic example.

So, are you ready? Let the game begin!

Image via sxc.hu

Hurray for it is February! Do you know what this month means? Few Days from now and we will be welcoming the annual celebration that I believe all of us are celebrating. This is not an official holiday but most people, especially those who are married and in a relationship, look forward to this certain event.

Valentine’s Day is soon coming this 14th day of February!

Have you prepared what kind of celebration you would have to make your Valentine’s Day special for you and your love one? Well, if you haven’t prepared anything yet, I would suggest that for the meantime, you could prepare a simple yet special Valentine card with the phrase “Valentine’s Day” written in different languages!

Do you want to know the translations from different languages. Take a quick browse on the following lists below:

Albanian: Dita e Shën Valentinit

Arabic: عيد الحب

Armenian: Վալենտինի օրը

Azerbaijani: Sevgililər günü

Belarusian: Дзень святога Валянціна

Bulgarian: Св. Валентин

Catalan: Dia de Sant Valentí

Chinese (Traditional): 情人節 (Qíngrén jié)

Dutch: Valentijnsdag

Filipino: Araw ng mga Puso

Finish: Ystävänpäivä

Galician: Día dos Namorados

Greek: Ημέρα του Αγίου Βαλεντίνου

Japanese: バレンタインデー (Barentaindē)

Latvian: Valentīna diena

Macedonia: Денот на вљубените (Denot na vljubenite)

Norwegian: Valentinsdag

Persian: روز والنتاین

Portuguese: Dia dos Namorados

Romanian: Ziua Îndrăgostiţilor

Russian: День святого Валентина (Denʹ svyatogo Valentina)

Serbian: Дан заљубљених (Dan zaljubljenih)

Spanish: Día de San Valentín

Swedish: Alla hjärtans dag

Ukrainian: День святого Валентина (Denʹ svyatoho Valentyna)

Urdu: ہے ویلنٹائن ڈے

Vietnamese: Ngày Valentine

Yiddish: וואַלענטינע ס טאָג

I am aiming to make this 50, and better if it turns 100. So please feel free to comment on the mentioned variety of Valentine’s Day translations and make your known language be posted in this blog. Feel free to add the 30 lists.

Image via sxc.hu

English is fine language to learn during these present times, isn’t it? And for those who want to take language learning seriously, they really take the option into traveling abroad and enroll to his preferable language school just to acquire the précised and credited English language learning that they wanted.

You see, we already know the major role English language has been playing in almost every aspect of our lives. We are also aware of the fact that a person’s knowledge about English or any secondary foreign language will contribute to his career and allow him to become a more effective professional within his field. His knowledge regarding the English language doesn’t just give him an edge among all other competitors in his given career but in all simple and even complex situations, he becomes an effective communicator. With this ability, he will have a greater chance to be more sociable, open minded, and finally become trustworthy in any given circumstance.

All these outcomes can be acquired by just simply learning English right? And there could never be a greater place to learn such language than choosing to learn English in Dublin!

There are actually hundreds of language schools established in almost all parts of the world. Why choose Dublin to learn English, by the way? Well, for some learners, they do prefer Dublin as their destination to learn English. What could be their reasons?

Small Classes

The more the merrier, isn’t it? But for an excellent English school in Dublin, they prefer the quality side of the learning, not quantity. If you’re the learner who prefers to have a small class, English schools in Dublin will provide it for you. They have a more personal attention on their learners so that they can learn English in a faster pace.

No Visa Students

Could you possibly learn a language abroad without getting any visa? Well, in Dublin, this is possible! This for sure is one of the main reasons why learners prefer to learn English in Dublin. They came to this city to learn English– and that is it!

Great English Teachers

Learners can guarantee that the teachers in the English schools in Dublin are highly skilled and experienced in their fields. Teaching and living the English language is their utmost profession, where they have been traveling all around the world.

No Registration Fees

As what was said, quality is the target aim of an English school in Dublin. That is why its “no registration fee” policy is given as a privilege to its language learners. Therefore, the school does not give any extra charges reserved for the learner’s English course.

So, are you convinced? Even the English course in Dublin is specifically designed depending on each learner’s need and credibility.

Now, would you like to choose Dublin as your destination in learning English? Start your inquiry right this moment!

Image via sxc.hu

English is a wonderful language to learn. Aside from the fact that it is the most common language known to mankind today, it is so far the easiest language to learn. Besides, its level of influence in our day-to-day living has reached to a certain level where people in general feel the urge to learn the language out of need. We all know that English affects our personal, social, entertainment, and even educational aspects. So it is not surprising that the number of English learners is increasingly rising.

And speaking of the increase of English learners today, would you like to take your learning into a place where, I think, you’ve never really get interested in going to? Yet, when you get to be in this place, you will surely love to stay in it and learn the language all at the same time.

Ladies and gentlemen, you are encouraged to have your English learning in one of the wonderful towns in Europe today! Learn English in Torquay and make it as one of your goals this 2011.

Torquay is very relaxing and enticing vicinity located in Devon, England. It is a classic town where fishing and agriculture are the people’s main resources. Honestly speaking, it is not as glamorous and elite compared to other cities in Europe, but it sure boasts its traditional British seaside attractions. Torquay is rich in wonderful beaches, clean and safe environment, and of course, it is one of the perfect destinations to learn and master English with precision and excellence!

English schools in Torquay are indeed very recommendable to learn English, especially that they create a very friendly and approachable ambiance. Its facilities are advanced and suitable for every language lesson that the teachers will teach to their students. Every learner will surely enjoy their stay in Torquay while making the most of their learning process in this serene vicinity.

The same with the language schools established, English courses in Torquay are also highly recommendable for learners who want to boost up their skills in English. General courses are given to learners with an utmost 20 lessons per week. Intensive English course then are to those who want to learn lots about the language in a certain period of time. With a course giving 27 lessons a week, they will surely be equipped with the proper and advanced language learning that they have always wanted.

So if you are the learner who wants to travel and learn language abroad, go the place where you will definitely love to see and stay with. Without any delay or hesitation, learn English in Torquay today!

I am currently in the process of collecting funny stuffs about the French language. You see, English is not the only known language with hilarious features.

While searching the Internet, I found these three aspects that French language would be considered to be a funny language. Let’s take a look at these one by one.

Videos

This video was taken from one of the episodes in the comedy series Friends. This is really very funny because Joey, one of the characters here was “frustratingly” practicing to learn French, yet he failed. He was very difficult to teach French language, I should say, but the video itself practically shows one facet of a learner’s respond towards French language learning.

Idioms

I took these French idioms from a site where it posts Funny French idioms. According to the site, these idioms become very hilarious to non-French speakers because its meaning becomes very illogical when translated literally.

Anyway, these are five of the various idioms I read about. A person’s perception towards funny things is actually subjective, so its up to you if you do find this very funny. Check these out!

Tongue Twisters

Personally, I laugh at these French tongue twisters not just for the reason of figuratively making my nose bleeds but it’s because of the language’s literal meaning. The interpretations were indeed hilarious. Let’s see if these five French tongue twisters are indeed very funny to you.

• La pipe au papa du Pape Pie pue :  Pope Pius’ dad’s pipe stinks.

• Je veux et j’exige du jasmin et des jonquilles: I want and demand jasmine and daffodils.

• Si mon tonton tond ton tonton, ton tonton sera tondu: If my uncle shaves your uncle, your uncle will be shaved.

• Si six scies scient six cyprès, six cents scies scient six cent cyprès : If six saws saw six cypresses, six hundred saws saw six hundred cypresses.

So, do you really find French as a funny language? Like what I said, English doesn’t necessarily take this title all by itself. I believe that each language, including French and the other foreign languages as well, really has its own humorous side to be made fun of.

Besides, considering the language’s funny side will be a great motivator for those who want to learn French, isn’t it?

Image via Wikipedia

Learning English has really been spreading among all the countries around the world, isn’t it? With its great influence and contribution in today’s status quo, the fact that everyone is enticed to learn English is not a surprising effect. That is why hundreds or even thousands of language schools are continuously established in almost every city globally.

This doesn’t exempt the city of Bath, actually. Even the “city in the ceremonial county of Somerset in the south west of England” also aims to teach English with excellence and versatility; a city that establish prestigious language schools competent for a standard and quality language learning that every language learner is looking for.

English courses in Bath are categorized with precision according to the needs of learners. General and Intensive English are the first category that goes hand in hand. If the learner prefers for a light and serene type of English learning, general English courses are suitable for them. Intensive English however is even more comprehensive. In addition, Junior Courses is also offered for young people during summer. Junior Summer School will surely become an exciting time for youngsters to develop their English language skills.

Exam preparation courses like IELTS, UBELT, Cambridge ESOL, and others are also given to students who like to raise their English language learning into a more professional level. Professional English particular to lines of work like medicine, business, law, business, and even armed forces have specific courses inclusive within its context. English terms inclined to those mentioned professions are taught to learners who want to improve their English skills.

English school in Bath is also offering Specialized or Tailor-Made Courses, a category of English courses that is unique among other English language schools. The course is named as English for Dentists, where dentists are educated with the language of dentistry and its terms;  50 Plus, a course for more matured learners 50 years old and above; English for Sales, a course particular to salespeople who wants to develop their English and communication skills in dealing with people; and Pre-Masters Preparation for Royal Air Force Officer Training College, a special course designed to raise the English ability of the cadets who want to enroll in RAF Cranwell, a prominent military training college in the United Kingdom.

So what are you waiting for? English school in Bath welcomes learners like you who want to improve, develop, and begin the English language learning that will bring you to your dreams and career that you always wanted to have. Learn English in Bath this 2011!